"Um, yeah?".
Okay, watch these then. Take your pick from:
A fat black lady falling off a table:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8EnaLn-OlU
A dog reacting to a fart:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIYySjIyy_I
My personal favourite:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_X6VoFBCE9k
Slipknot goes Pop:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDdQV3a_CRg
A completley credible dance remix of Christian Bale flipping out, actual tears:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTihsJQHt48&feature=related
In other news, I have found the most awesome online programme ever. It's called Spotify.
Like everybody's neighbours kid, most people are stupid and download music illegally, despite insisting that they "love music". Well, if illegal, streaming quality MP3's float your boat, you're probably adopted and your parents don't love you.
I love how people will have no problem spending £130 on an MP3 player but actually paying to put the fucking media ON them is such an effort.
BUT! This spotify programme is like a massive playlist, instead of downloading the songs and commiting a henious act, ommm. You can just listen to whatever you want, whenever you want. Just type in an artist and a bucket load of good sounding records appear. And it's all legal so Lars Ulrich can buy another bunch of shit paintings!
www.spotify.com
I should be getting paid by these people.
Sarah wanted a mention, so hiyur!
Go check out Minus The Bear. All you kids that dress like your grandma should lap this shit up!
Charlie S
x.
Friday, 20 February 2009
Thursday, 19 February 2009
Oh Hai!
Well hola, children.
It's been more than half a year since i've written in this, but an idea that Broderick put onto our Myspace the other day made me want to start writing (but more than likely complaining) about shit.
As mentioned in my first post all that time ago, I said that I made a CD every month of the 10 tracks that i'm totally loving at that point in time, well, I still do that, I still have a collection of 7 or 8 mixed cd's tucked away at the bottom of my record collection.
If any of them take your fancy, check them out on the 'tube or take the predictable route and download a shoppy MP3 version of them. If any of you guys actually read this, tell me some songs that you're buzzing off lately, and i'll check them out, fo sho. So, without further ado, here are the tracks.
1. BLUR - No Distance Left To Run.
I don't listen to Blur often, although back in the day I always preferred them over Oasis (who should have stopped after Morning Glory) I never bought one of their records. However, since acquiring their greatest hits after they decided to re-group, this song stuck out like a sore thumb. Go watch the video, they all sleep in it and stuff.
2. Prince & The Revolution - Pop Life.
Prince is my new favourite artist, sure, he's tiny, one hell of a prima donna and a total tight arse for actually HIRING lawyers to take his videos down from Youtube. But they guy is just amazing. All of his big albums are in Zavvi for £7, go and get some. Seriously, put down that copy of Only By The Night, buy Around The World In A Day and listen to this little gem.
3. Say Anything - Died A Jew.
I have a serious penchant for unhappy Yanks moaning about stuff, and Max Bemis is the king of it. After finally getting ahold of In Defense of the Genre, the bass line in this song alone is worth the £9 I spent on it. Don't listen if you're a Christian though, you'll probably gerrin' a huff.
4. Paramore - My Heart.
Fuck Riot. It's a great album and all but their first effort has such a cute charm to it that I find irresistable, this is their best song. Nuff Said.
5. Michael Jackson - Baby Be Mine.
Far and away my favourite Michael Jackson song. "Thriller" is still the greatest pop record ever, the fucking thing sold a million copies in a WEEK, and the session musicians used on the record are all top shelf (Human Nature was practically written by Toto) something pop music nowadays is seriously lacking. Sure, I prefer "Bad" and I listen to "Dangerous" more than both. But, it's fucking "Thriller"!!1?!. It's like, £4 in HMV. Why don't you do yourself a favour and buy it? Get "Off The Wall" whilst you're there too.
6. Beach Boys - I Just Wasn't Made For These Times.
"Pet Sounds" has fast become one of my favourite albums ever, so much so Brian Wilson was my display picture on Facebook for a while, leading to some dopy indie girl thinking it was me before saying I had a rubbish taste in music. Epic loss.com. Anyway, although God Only Knows is clearly the greatest song on the record, this one is second best. Amy, listen to it :P.
7. Mute Math - Noticed.
I'm new to this band. Sure, the singer sounds like Sting, and he plays a friggin Keytar. But this song is undeniably awesome. And they're actually on an Indie label so you Indie kids can legitimately listen to them without looking like you're selling out! Huzzah!
8. Taking Back Sunday - Brooklyn.
Why this wasn't included on "Louder Now" goes beyond me, it's on their Myspace, go check it out.
9. Saosin - Love Maker.
Shit title, Cove sounds rough as toast, but this is the highlight song from their limited edition "Grey EP" that came out last year. Check out their debut album if you're into the post-hardcore, "Receiving end of Sirens" kind of shit. Killer drumming too.
10. Death Cab - What Sarah Said.
I thought Death Cab was one of those bands that only cool, hip indie kids listened to. But since they jumped to major label status and they're now technically a pop act, I thought why the fuck not. Bought "Narrow Stairs", loved it. Heard "Plans", and thought it was even better, with this song being its highlight. Fuck Kings of Leon, these guys are doing modern alternative rock better than anyone, and although most of "Plans" isn't too crunchy, I can't stress how good these guys are.
That's it for now, I'll get back in to my usual routine of ripping people a new one soon enough. So, check these songs out if you like. And don't forget to give me some recommendations too!
That's how, for now.
Charlie S
x.
It's been more than half a year since i've written in this, but an idea that Broderick put onto our Myspace the other day made me want to start writing (but more than likely complaining) about shit.
As mentioned in my first post all that time ago, I said that I made a CD every month of the 10 tracks that i'm totally loving at that point in time, well, I still do that, I still have a collection of 7 or 8 mixed cd's tucked away at the bottom of my record collection.
If any of them take your fancy, check them out on the 'tube or take the predictable route and download a shoppy MP3 version of them. If any of you guys actually read this, tell me some songs that you're buzzing off lately, and i'll check them out, fo sho. So, without further ado, here are the tracks.
1. BLUR - No Distance Left To Run.
I don't listen to Blur often, although back in the day I always preferred them over Oasis (who should have stopped after Morning Glory) I never bought one of their records. However, since acquiring their greatest hits after they decided to re-group, this song stuck out like a sore thumb. Go watch the video, they all sleep in it and stuff.
2. Prince & The Revolution - Pop Life.
Prince is my new favourite artist, sure, he's tiny, one hell of a prima donna and a total tight arse for actually HIRING lawyers to take his videos down from Youtube. But they guy is just amazing. All of his big albums are in Zavvi for £7, go and get some. Seriously, put down that copy of Only By The Night, buy Around The World In A Day and listen to this little gem.
3. Say Anything - Died A Jew.
I have a serious penchant for unhappy Yanks moaning about stuff, and Max Bemis is the king of it. After finally getting ahold of In Defense of the Genre, the bass line in this song alone is worth the £9 I spent on it. Don't listen if you're a Christian though, you'll probably gerrin' a huff.
4. Paramore - My Heart.
Fuck Riot. It's a great album and all but their first effort has such a cute charm to it that I find irresistable, this is their best song. Nuff Said.
5. Michael Jackson - Baby Be Mine.
Far and away my favourite Michael Jackson song. "Thriller" is still the greatest pop record ever, the fucking thing sold a million copies in a WEEK, and the session musicians used on the record are all top shelf (Human Nature was practically written by Toto) something pop music nowadays is seriously lacking. Sure, I prefer "Bad" and I listen to "Dangerous" more than both. But, it's fucking "Thriller"!!1?!. It's like, £4 in HMV. Why don't you do yourself a favour and buy it? Get "Off The Wall" whilst you're there too.
6. Beach Boys - I Just Wasn't Made For These Times.
"Pet Sounds" has fast become one of my favourite albums ever, so much so Brian Wilson was my display picture on Facebook for a while, leading to some dopy indie girl thinking it was me before saying I had a rubbish taste in music. Epic loss.com. Anyway, although God Only Knows is clearly the greatest song on the record, this one is second best. Amy, listen to it :P.
7. Mute Math - Noticed.
I'm new to this band. Sure, the singer sounds like Sting, and he plays a friggin Keytar. But this song is undeniably awesome. And they're actually on an Indie label so you Indie kids can legitimately listen to them without looking like you're selling out! Huzzah!
8. Taking Back Sunday - Brooklyn.
Why this wasn't included on "Louder Now" goes beyond me, it's on their Myspace, go check it out.
9. Saosin - Love Maker.
Shit title, Cove sounds rough as toast, but this is the highlight song from their limited edition "Grey EP" that came out last year. Check out their debut album if you're into the post-hardcore, "Receiving end of Sirens" kind of shit. Killer drumming too.
10. Death Cab - What Sarah Said.
I thought Death Cab was one of those bands that only cool, hip indie kids listened to. But since they jumped to major label status and they're now technically a pop act, I thought why the fuck not. Bought "Narrow Stairs", loved it. Heard "Plans", and thought it was even better, with this song being its highlight. Fuck Kings of Leon, these guys are doing modern alternative rock better than anyone, and although most of "Plans" isn't too crunchy, I can't stress how good these guys are.
That's it for now, I'll get back in to my usual routine of ripping people a new one soon enough. So, check these songs out if you like. And don't forget to give me some recommendations too!
That's how, for now.
Charlie S
x.
Saturday, 14 June 2008
Nutshell
Seriously, I don't think I can be arsed with this thing anymore. Nothing much is happening that I can complain about, everything is peachy. Which means, unfortunately, that my blog just isn't funny. Devastated.
Although people who can't spell piss me off well good.
I'll see if I can find something remotely interesting and funny to talk about over the coming days.
Although people who can't spell piss me off well good.
I'll see if I can find something remotely interesting and funny to talk about over the coming days.
Thursday, 12 June 2008
Anesthetize.
Well, I haven't exactly been loyal to my supreme fans (I know that sounds like i'm a prick. But hey, people do read this shit :P). I didn't update this daily like I say I do in my wonderful press releases (see other: status updates). I, for once in my entire life, was actually busy. I got in from work at say, 4 30pm, I had to write up 2 reports, wash my hair (it looked like it used to, ew) make dinner and watch Frasier, clearly. Then it was off to the Pool of life to play a gig with pop sensation Lee Broderick.
Teaching is still going really well, although as implied before, the school does have its fair share of stanely knife wielding ASBO-chavs, however, I get called sir alot, which is immense.
Updates from school, lets see what has been mentioned about me by these passing sprogs.
Today, although my hair was straight and neat, and obviously I looked lavish in a suit, a year 9 girl still managed to mutter "...sweaty goth". I muttered back "sweaty goth with prospects", win.
Since i've been bitten somewhat by some kind of fashion bug (see: mother buying it). I'm wearing a skinny silver tie to work, its rather lovely, and surprisingly, it's been diverting kids attention away from my hair, thankfully. I got a haircut for this job, cock-fags. Stop saying it.
Some lad said "skinny ties are mega" to his mate as I passed, sarcastically of course, however, it was nice. Although one day I was walking to form and some lad actually said "there's something wrong with your tie knobhead!". I'm staying calm so far, but no doubt I will go postal and take out the entire school at some point.
Some girl that looks like Tori Amos (see: ginger) if she fell off her bike a few times keeps sarcastically saying "You're sexy and you know it". I don't compliment her back. I just report her. Ha.
I answer the door and telephone in the staff room now, it's amazing.
Other news, I played a gig, that wen't well. I got slashed off 3 pints and it looked as though Lee and I we're about to kiss a couple of times cause we shared a mic. A poet that I went on a date with once kept poking me, she has probably written a book full of haiku's about it.
My dad emptied a petrol tank in a BP garage.
I wore my diamond treble cleff cufflinks to work today.
One of my tasks at school is to track a student for day, I'm tracking Henry tomorrow, the little Christian boy that reads a mini version of The New Testament and says "good morning" after every sentence, if he tries to convert me i'll throw my shoe at him.
Goodbye,
Charlie S.
P.S. I realise i'm not complaining at the moment, I'm sorry, it would just be about how shit students are anyway, I think that's heavily implied here anyways.
Teaching is still going really well, although as implied before, the school does have its fair share of stanely knife wielding ASBO-chavs, however, I get called sir alot, which is immense.
Updates from school, lets see what has been mentioned about me by these passing sprogs.
Today, although my hair was straight and neat, and obviously I looked lavish in a suit, a year 9 girl still managed to mutter "...sweaty goth". I muttered back "sweaty goth with prospects", win.
Since i've been bitten somewhat by some kind of fashion bug (see: mother buying it). I'm wearing a skinny silver tie to work, its rather lovely, and surprisingly, it's been diverting kids attention away from my hair, thankfully. I got a haircut for this job, cock-fags. Stop saying it.
Some lad said "skinny ties are mega" to his mate as I passed, sarcastically of course, however, it was nice. Although one day I was walking to form and some lad actually said "there's something wrong with your tie knobhead!". I'm staying calm so far, but no doubt I will go postal and take out the entire school at some point.
Some girl that looks like Tori Amos (see: ginger) if she fell off her bike a few times keeps sarcastically saying "You're sexy and you know it". I don't compliment her back. I just report her. Ha.
I answer the door and telephone in the staff room now, it's amazing.
Other news, I played a gig, that wen't well. I got slashed off 3 pints and it looked as though Lee and I we're about to kiss a couple of times cause we shared a mic. A poet that I went on a date with once kept poking me, she has probably written a book full of haiku's about it.
My dad emptied a petrol tank in a BP garage.
I wore my diamond treble cleff cufflinks to work today.
One of my tasks at school is to track a student for day, I'm tracking Henry tomorrow, the little Christian boy that reads a mini version of The New Testament and says "good morning" after every sentence, if he tries to convert me i'll throw my shoe at him.
Goodbye,
Charlie S.
P.S. I realise i'm not complaining at the moment, I'm sorry, it would just be about how shit students are anyway, I think that's heavily implied here anyways.
Monday, 9 June 2008
Summer Romance.
So, Donc, children, les gamins.
I am a teaching, member of staff type thing :D. And surprisingly I don't have much to complain about. Of course, school is still full of small A.D.D bastards up to their eyes on ritalin and probably crack. However, the fact that I wear a name tag and dress like a champion now is great as I don't really get heckled like I did in uniform, so. Magic.
I did get some grief off some noob obviously, it went like this, verbatim:
Since he was a chav, I'll transcribe appropriately, obv.
"HeY LaD, WaT iS uR jOb ErE!?!"
"Teacher"
"WhAtS uR nAmE?...sKiNhEaD?!"
How very drole. To be fair though thats much more original than most other things I've heard.
So, benefits. I get to sit off in the staff room, have free toast and coffee/tea. And I get to queue jump in the canteen line, best thing ever. Plus I get to use the staff toilets. I always wondered what they would be like, they're just as shit as normal toilets, don't get your hopes up.
Theres another guy on the music scheme with me called Rich. He plays piano. He recited Martha My Dear on the spot. What a saint. Theres also this kind of student teacher for music whos butch and swiss, she looks like a fat version of Sian, I really want her to say Smorgasbord. Preferably Smorgasbord of Pop.
Theres a guy in my Form class that says "Good morning/afternoon miss" everytime he speaks to the teacher. He seems nice enough like. But in the "quiet reading" part of the morning he sits back and reads a page or two of the New Testament. I reckon he's Satans Spawn and he's probably gonna get some kind of Succubus onto me as I laugh everytime he says Good Morning.
Sorry this hasn't been really funny and stuff. Not much comedic shit has gone down today, nor has some annoying complaining type shit. So I apologise. I'll try and improve as the week progresses.
Although the doctors didn't have my prescription. Ugh.
Goodbye,
Charlie S.
I am a teaching, member of staff type thing :D. And surprisingly I don't have much to complain about. Of course, school is still full of small A.D.D bastards up to their eyes on ritalin and probably crack. However, the fact that I wear a name tag and dress like a champion now is great as I don't really get heckled like I did in uniform, so. Magic.
I did get some grief off some noob obviously, it went like this, verbatim:
Since he was a chav, I'll transcribe appropriately, obv.
"HeY LaD, WaT iS uR jOb ErE!?!"
"Teacher"
"WhAtS uR nAmE?...sKiNhEaD?!"
How very drole. To be fair though thats much more original than most other things I've heard.
So, benefits. I get to sit off in the staff room, have free toast and coffee/tea. And I get to queue jump in the canteen line, best thing ever. Plus I get to use the staff toilets. I always wondered what they would be like, they're just as shit as normal toilets, don't get your hopes up.
Theres another guy on the music scheme with me called Rich. He plays piano. He recited Martha My Dear on the spot. What a saint. Theres also this kind of student teacher for music whos butch and swiss, she looks like a fat version of Sian, I really want her to say Smorgasbord. Preferably Smorgasbord of Pop.
Theres a guy in my Form class that says "Good morning/afternoon miss" everytime he speaks to the teacher. He seems nice enough like. But in the "quiet reading" part of the morning he sits back and reads a page or two of the New Testament. I reckon he's Satans Spawn and he's probably gonna get some kind of Succubus onto me as I laugh everytime he says Good Morning.
Sorry this hasn't been really funny and stuff. Not much comedic shit has gone down today, nor has some annoying complaining type shit. So I apologise. I'll try and improve as the week progresses.
Although the doctors didn't have my prescription. Ugh.
Goodbye,
Charlie S.
Sunday, 8 June 2008
What a Wonderful Charicature of Intimacy.
Not much to mention today kids. Ormskirk is so gash for a night out.
I'm a teacher starting tomorrow. Immense, I have to write down a log everyday about my experience, I might just cut and paste this blog in. See how that affects my mark.
I'm gonna have a bath tonight. But right now. I feel like watching American Pyscho. So that's whats gonna go down.
I listened to all of Amputechture crunked last night at about 2am. That was a mind fuck.
Goodbye,
Charlie S.
I'm a teacher starting tomorrow. Immense, I have to write down a log everyday about my experience, I might just cut and paste this blog in. See how that affects my mark.
I'm gonna have a bath tonight. But right now. I feel like watching American Pyscho. So that's whats gonna go down.
I listened to all of Amputechture crunked last night at about 2am. That was a mind fuck.
Goodbye,
Charlie S.
Saturday, 7 June 2008
#41.
Before I go into anything. I urge you to check this band out.
Big Wreck - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvuUwy8kcSk
Proper late 90's hard rock. Awesome. They opened for Dream Theater back in 1997/98. They're dead as a dodo now like. But they're just so fucking good.
Anyways. Today was interesting. I had to guy and buy some smart clothes for this teaching job, so I spent 6 hours shopping in Liverpool. And guess what, I'm rife with complaints. Although I did get to see the HMS Ark Royal, how very Under Seige, I was expecting Steven Seagal and that chick with big boobs to be running around shooting extras, not the TV show, the physical act.
I bought £130's worth of smart apparel in TopMan. This really cute girl with a speech impediment helped me out. I look sterling.
Speaking of which, I need to get out of this suit. Give me a few.
J'ai returné.
Complaint #1 today is about peoples Favourite Music section on social network sights like Myspazz and the ole Book. It just annoys me good style when people can't define their taste. I guess this is me going all Obsessive Compulsive again, but when people are all "I'll listen 2 anythin rele!1". I just wanna go.
"Oh really? so you're a big fan of Progressive Death Metal? how about Latin? Free Jazz? Dust? anyone...no?.
I went to the Egg today for some monster Cheese on Toast. It was immense, I still think that Michael guy really hates me, even though I'm 1/4 of The Lost Keys. Punk Ass.
Theres a big sign outside the egg on a building saying "The Global Temperature between 1997 and 2007 was higher than its ever been".
Good! Have a solero and shut the fuck up.
Complaint #2 today is about Headphones, more specifically people with headphones. Why do you people insist on walking around with just 1 headphone in? You're missing out on at LEAST 2 tracks of wonderful musical instrumentation, a girl I was once with did this, I asked her why. She just said "cause I like to hear whats going on around me too". Bollocks, you're just a tit. I'd love to see your reaction to a 5.1.
Secondly, why, and i mean fucking WHY? do people have their headphones in when they're in company?. Its just fucking rude, it's basically them saying "Yeah listen mate. Jared Leto saying "I'll Attack" is way more interesting than our friendship". If Broderick had his headphones in when I was talking (see: complaining, moaning). I'd give him a mouthful.
Don't even talk to me about Big Brother.
Complaint #3. Primark.
I can't stand clothes shopping as it is, but at least some shops have the decency to have their clothes in a clear cut and NEAT manner. Whereas when you walk in Primark, it's like you've just walked into some kind of fashion Jihad, everything is EVERYWHERE. And everyone is running towards everything and rooting through clothes like a fat kid at a buffet. At least I didn't have to spend long in there. When I left, the relief washed over me in an awesome wave.
"Chubby Chasers with Chevy Chase". Somebody should commission this TV idea.
I'm going to Ormskirk tonight. I think i'm gonna wear this tie i bought with a casual shirt.
Aldenté.
Goodbye,
Charlie S.
Big Wreck - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvuUwy8kcSk
Proper late 90's hard rock. Awesome. They opened for Dream Theater back in 1997/98. They're dead as a dodo now like. But they're just so fucking good.
Anyways. Today was interesting. I had to guy and buy some smart clothes for this teaching job, so I spent 6 hours shopping in Liverpool. And guess what, I'm rife with complaints. Although I did get to see the HMS Ark Royal, how very Under Seige, I was expecting Steven Seagal and that chick with big boobs to be running around shooting extras, not the TV show, the physical act.
I bought £130's worth of smart apparel in TopMan. This really cute girl with a speech impediment helped me out. I look sterling.
Speaking of which, I need to get out of this suit. Give me a few.
J'ai returné.
Complaint #1 today is about peoples Favourite Music section on social network sights like Myspazz and the ole Book. It just annoys me good style when people can't define their taste. I guess this is me going all Obsessive Compulsive again, but when people are all "I'll listen 2 anythin rele!1". I just wanna go.
"Oh really? so you're a big fan of Progressive Death Metal? how about Latin? Free Jazz? Dust? anyone...no?.
I went to the Egg today for some monster Cheese on Toast. It was immense, I still think that Michael guy really hates me, even though I'm 1/4 of The Lost Keys. Punk Ass.
Theres a big sign outside the egg on a building saying "The Global Temperature between 1997 and 2007 was higher than its ever been".
Good! Have a solero and shut the fuck up.
Complaint #2 today is about Headphones, more specifically people with headphones. Why do you people insist on walking around with just 1 headphone in? You're missing out on at LEAST 2 tracks of wonderful musical instrumentation, a girl I was once with did this, I asked her why. She just said "cause I like to hear whats going on around me too". Bollocks, you're just a tit. I'd love to see your reaction to a 5.1.
Secondly, why, and i mean fucking WHY? do people have their headphones in when they're in company?. Its just fucking rude, it's basically them saying "Yeah listen mate. Jared Leto saying "I'll Attack" is way more interesting than our friendship". If Broderick had his headphones in when I was talking (see: complaining, moaning). I'd give him a mouthful.
Don't even talk to me about Big Brother.
Complaint #3. Primark.
I can't stand clothes shopping as it is, but at least some shops have the decency to have their clothes in a clear cut and NEAT manner. Whereas when you walk in Primark, it's like you've just walked into some kind of fashion Jihad, everything is EVERYWHERE. And everyone is running towards everything and rooting through clothes like a fat kid at a buffet. At least I didn't have to spend long in there. When I left, the relief washed over me in an awesome wave.
"Chubby Chasers with Chevy Chase". Somebody should commission this TV idea.
I'm going to Ormskirk tonight. I think i'm gonna wear this tie i bought with a casual shirt.
Aldenté.
Goodbye,
Charlie S.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)