These 2 men are my fucking heroes.
Sunday, 19 April 2009
Friday, 17 April 2009
My Love, Hey. My Love, Hey. My Love, Hey.
No update since February, hence. This will be long. Go get a cuppa. And get me one.
Top 10 songs of the month. Buy, download, spotify, whatever! just listen.
1. Dashboard Confessional - Don't Wait.
Ultra rip off of Sixpence None The Richer's "Kiss Me" but it's almost as good too. Chris Cararrabbaraaba has a whiney voice and couldn't write an albums worth of decent material if the songs came up and bit him in the arse. But how's this for a single.
2. The Roots - Water.
Since I've gone a bit hip-hop, I thought i'd check out hip-hops greatest act, and it razzle dazzled my fantasmagazzle, yo. It's 10 minutes in length, 6 of which is a sound collage alá Revolution 9. But fuck, that groove makes me wonder why the A&R guys at Murder Inc don't live up to their name, off that 50 pence nonce, and make these guys superstars.
3. Michael Jackson - Earth Song.
We've all heard this one. I spent literally half an hour listening to this song on repeat the other night. Jacko waxing lyrical about how poopoo the earth is isn't half wonderful. The drums sound Off The Wall (pun intended) aswell. Amazing. When you were younger how many of you stood inbetween two trees and sung the end bit to the best of your abilities? I certainly did, confess up.
It's pompous, pretentious, grandiose, and any other synonym I can think of all rolled in to one, and then some.
4. Sara Bareilliesielesies - Many The Miles.
The best A-Cappella section in any song since Temple Of The Dog's Reach Down. Class.
5. Alter Bridge - Blackbird.
The 8 minute centerpiece of the album of the same name was without doubt my favourite song of last year. Seeing it live was something else. Proof that American Hard Rock isn't as painfully shit as what's on the surface (Nicklecrack, or is that Nickelback?...Nickel Creek?). Go go go!
6. Dredg - Ode To The Sun.
Terry Date makes another class record. I can almost guarantee that you do not have a clue who this band is. True, they're little known over here, and their records are a king size pain in the ass to get ahold of, I got my copy of their cd Catch Without Arms in London, this being the first track. Fan of Alternative Progressive Pop? Thought not, listen to it anyway you bunch of Jew fucks.
7. Fightstar - Paint Your Target.
Charlie Simpson has one of those faces that you just want to punch (not to mention a terrific Mikel Arteta monobrow to boot!) and yes, Busted were trite as fuck, but fair play to him for getting out of a situation where he would have been financially stable for life in order to play music he loves. Their albums are 3 star at best, but songs like this piss all over the shite Funeral For A Friend have been calling music for the past 4 years.
8. Ben Folds Five - The Last Polka.
One of my all time favourite bands (out of the upbeat ones anyway). If there ever was a song that should be a staple at Jewish weddings, this is it. Classy.
9. Chris Cornell - Part of Me.
"Timberland knows the way to reach the top of the charts, maybe if I work with him I can perfect the art".
Rivers was being sarcastic there Chris, not offering career advice. This is just failtastic.
I only included this in here to slag off the man who used to be my all-time hero. I'm all for musical growth, but when you team a man on a musical downward spiral with a guy named after a boot, the results can only go one way. That's right, down the shitter.
Go listen to Justin Timberlake do this properly on FutureSex/LoveSound. Or better yet, go stick on some fucking Prince!
10. Lady GaGa - Summerboy.
Let's face it, we all think Just Dance is fantastic. But this one is even better.
Since I forgot to update this fuckin' thing. This is gonna be a long one.
I don't know about you, but whenever Mothers Day/Valentines Day/Generic Holiday that means shit comes around. I notice that a copious amount of stupid, money grabbing everythingthatiswrongwithsociety CD's come out. They're all over the tv.
"The perfect gift for mothers day! The Best of Cannibal Corpse!"
I found one today entitled "Just Great Love Songs" and the track listing proves that this country has gone head first down the shitter, I'm talking late 70's we-need-Margaret-Thatcher-back-in power bad. Just looking at the track listing shows that people don't have a FUCKING CLUE about what a love song is. Some examples.
Justin Timberlake - Cry Me A River.
Ok, as if the chorus and video wasn't a big enough of a hint. I'll tell you, this is a song about how trousersnake JT found out that Brit Shit Spears was cheating on him.
"You don't have to say, what you did, I already know, I found out from himmmmm"
Get the connection? Good.
Sara Barielelliesleiels - Love Song.
Seriously, what dumb good for nothing, latté sipping, guardian reading liberal fuck thought that this was actually a Love Song?! Sara Barielles is a smart lass, by simply naming her single "Love Song" her record company loved it, sold it, and reaped the millions it made.
She only wrote the song AFTER her label asked her to write a "love song". She did a "Pork and Beans" and basically slagged off her record label, and the dumb jew fucks bought into it!
"I'm not gonna write you a love song, cause you asked for it, cause you need one"
See my point?
This country.
And finally. Due to the generic cast off love child of Leona Lewis and Whitney Houston, Alexandra Burke, taking Leonard Cohen's classic "Hallelujah" to the top of the charts. It's now seen as a yummy, by the fire with some whipped cream and strawberries love song. Despite the fucking OVERT religious references that no-one seems to get. Jeff Buckley's super-fun-time cover is included in this CD, leading me to believe that he's just dug himself up from his grave, gone BACK to that riverbank and fucking jumped in again!
P.S, The sheer magnitude of people who appear on The Jeremy Kyle show has cemented the idea that I will put a bullet in my brain as soon as I hit 35.
If you've read all of this, feel free to come to one of my gigs and watch me play guitar and stuff. I'll buy you a pint I swear!
Top 10 songs of the month. Buy, download, spotify, whatever! just listen.
1. Dashboard Confessional - Don't Wait.
Ultra rip off of Sixpence None The Richer's "Kiss Me" but it's almost as good too. Chris Cararrabbaraaba has a whiney voice and couldn't write an albums worth of decent material if the songs came up and bit him in the arse. But how's this for a single.
2. The Roots - Water.
Since I've gone a bit hip-hop, I thought i'd check out hip-hops greatest act, and it razzle dazzled my fantasmagazzle, yo. It's 10 minutes in length, 6 of which is a sound collage alá Revolution 9. But fuck, that groove makes me wonder why the A&R guys at Murder Inc don't live up to their name, off that 50 pence nonce, and make these guys superstars.
3. Michael Jackson - Earth Song.
We've all heard this one. I spent literally half an hour listening to this song on repeat the other night. Jacko waxing lyrical about how poopoo the earth is isn't half wonderful. The drums sound Off The Wall (pun intended) aswell. Amazing. When you were younger how many of you stood inbetween two trees and sung the end bit to the best of your abilities? I certainly did, confess up.
It's pompous, pretentious, grandiose, and any other synonym I can think of all rolled in to one, and then some.
4. Sara Bareilliesielesies - Many The Miles.
The best A-Cappella section in any song since Temple Of The Dog's Reach Down. Class.
5. Alter Bridge - Blackbird.
The 8 minute centerpiece of the album of the same name was without doubt my favourite song of last year. Seeing it live was something else. Proof that American Hard Rock isn't as painfully shit as what's on the surface (Nicklecrack, or is that Nickelback?...Nickel Creek?). Go go go!
6. Dredg - Ode To The Sun.
Terry Date makes another class record. I can almost guarantee that you do not have a clue who this band is. True, they're little known over here, and their records are a king size pain in the ass to get ahold of, I got my copy of their cd Catch Without Arms in London, this being the first track. Fan of Alternative Progressive Pop? Thought not, listen to it anyway you bunch of Jew fucks.
7. Fightstar - Paint Your Target.
Charlie Simpson has one of those faces that you just want to punch (not to mention a terrific Mikel Arteta monobrow to boot!) and yes, Busted were trite as fuck, but fair play to him for getting out of a situation where he would have been financially stable for life in order to play music he loves. Their albums are 3 star at best, but songs like this piss all over the shite Funeral For A Friend have been calling music for the past 4 years.
8. Ben Folds Five - The Last Polka.
One of my all time favourite bands (out of the upbeat ones anyway). If there ever was a song that should be a staple at Jewish weddings, this is it. Classy.
9. Chris Cornell - Part of Me.
"Timberland knows the way to reach the top of the charts, maybe if I work with him I can perfect the art".
Rivers was being sarcastic there Chris, not offering career advice. This is just failtastic.
I only included this in here to slag off the man who used to be my all-time hero. I'm all for musical growth, but when you team a man on a musical downward spiral with a guy named after a boot, the results can only go one way. That's right, down the shitter.
Go listen to Justin Timberlake do this properly on FutureSex/LoveSound. Or better yet, go stick on some fucking Prince!
10. Lady GaGa - Summerboy.
Let's face it, we all think Just Dance is fantastic. But this one is even better.
Since I forgot to update this fuckin' thing. This is gonna be a long one.
I don't know about you, but whenever Mothers Day/Valentines Day/Generic Holiday that means shit comes around. I notice that a copious amount of stupid, money grabbing everythingthatiswrongwithsociety CD's come out. They're all over the tv.
"The perfect gift for mothers day! The Best of Cannibal Corpse!"
I found one today entitled "Just Great Love Songs" and the track listing proves that this country has gone head first down the shitter, I'm talking late 70's we-need-Margaret-Thatcher-back-in power bad. Just looking at the track listing shows that people don't have a FUCKING CLUE about what a love song is. Some examples.
Justin Timberlake - Cry Me A River.
Ok, as if the chorus and video wasn't a big enough of a hint. I'll tell you, this is a song about how trousersnake JT found out that Brit Shit Spears was cheating on him.
"You don't have to say, what you did, I already know, I found out from himmmmm"
Get the connection? Good.
Sara Barielelliesleiels - Love Song.
Seriously, what dumb good for nothing, latté sipping, guardian reading liberal fuck thought that this was actually a Love Song?! Sara Barielles is a smart lass, by simply naming her single "Love Song" her record company loved it, sold it, and reaped the millions it made.
She only wrote the song AFTER her label asked her to write a "love song". She did a "Pork and Beans" and basically slagged off her record label, and the dumb jew fucks bought into it!
"I'm not gonna write you a love song, cause you asked for it, cause you need one"
See my point?
This country.
And finally. Due to the generic cast off love child of Leona Lewis and Whitney Houston, Alexandra Burke, taking Leonard Cohen's classic "Hallelujah" to the top of the charts. It's now seen as a yummy, by the fire with some whipped cream and strawberries love song. Despite the fucking OVERT religious references that no-one seems to get. Jeff Buckley's super-fun-time cover is included in this CD, leading me to believe that he's just dug himself up from his grave, gone BACK to that riverbank and fucking jumped in again!
P.S, The sheer magnitude of people who appear on The Jeremy Kyle show has cemented the idea that I will put a bullet in my brain as soon as I hit 35.
If you've read all of this, feel free to come to one of my gigs and watch me play guitar and stuff. I'll buy you a pint I swear!
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