Albums of the Decade, year by year.

Indie bum-boys NME have just announced that The Strokes "Is This It?" is the album of the 00's. I personally have alot of time for The Strokes and their first 2 albums (especially Room on Fire) but I thought since my music taste isn't so fucking obvious I thought I would run down what I think are the best albums of the decade, year by year, before choosing one to put at the top. Eep!

Now, if you think the pinnacle of cinema is Twilight and the pinnacle of music is Sex on Fire, you can quite frankly, stop reading here.

By the way, I now have FIVE FUCKING FOLLOWERS! Get me. Thanky'all.

Here we go.

2000 - Deftones/White Pony.

Now, Deftones were my all time favourite band for a few years, and this is their best album, hands down. They keep all the drop G heavy shit going on this one, but throw in a bit of atmosphere for good measure, dull, dense, and fucking brilliant. Plus, Maynard from Tool is on here!

Runner up - Radiohead/Kid A
Shittest album - Pearl Jam/Binaural

2001 - Tool/Lateralus.

Second only to Metallica's "Master of Puppets" as the greatest metal album of all time. That is all.

Runner up - Jimmy Eat World/Bleed American
Shittest album - Michael Jackson/Invincible

2002 - Counting Crows/Hard Candy

Now, the Crows have their critics, and they certainly deserved them after appearing in that gay Pepsi commerical in 2002, but this album, is just simply gorgeous pop. They're known for being a bit miserable, and lyrically it's not all Rainbows and Blowjobs here, but the music is that upbeat (without being trite) and brilliantly produced you forget all about that. I've spent many a drunken evening riding around on my bike to this record, and loved every fucking second.

Runner up - Dream Theater/Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence
Shittest album - Justin Timberlake/Justified

2003 - Death Cab For Cutie/Transatlanticism

Now, I can't fucking STAND the early Death Cab stuff, the whole lo-fi indie thing is about as appealing as incest to me, and whilst there is still some of that here, Death Cab starting using atmospheric production to make an album as opposed to a bunch of songs thrown together. If you've just been dumped and plan on spending your evening feeling sorry for yourself, look no further man!

Runner up - John Mayer/Heavier Things
Shite - The White Stripes/Elephant

2004 - Incubus/A Crow Left Of The Murder

Again, although everyone is all "SCIENCE LOL", I can't fucking STAND early Incubus, because they manage to rob everything Mike Patton did in Faith No More/Mr Bungle and throw it over some horrible nu-metal esque riffage. Thankfully, after Make Yourself in 1999 Incubus found their inner pop-writers and started writing just solid fuckin' rock songs, as Morning View shown. Here, they keep their pop-stylings but throw in a fat wedge of 70's Floyd meets King Crimson prog-rock and the results are killer! Drawn out solo's, odd time signatures mixed in withamazing pop tunes like Talk Shows on Mute, pisses all over everything else they, or any of their rivals have ever done. No question.

Runner up - Jimmy Eat World/Futures
Steaming Poo - The Arcade Fire/Funeral (felt like it listening to this dirge).

2005 - Opeth/Ghost Reveries

2005 was one of my all time favourite years for music so this was well 'ard, but eventually I went with my good buddies Opeth. Opeth are basically the soundtrack to watching a witch-burning. And this album makes me want to light up a piece of timber and join in it's that bloody good!

Runner up - Porcupine Tree/Deadwing
Massive chonging poo - Dream Theater/Octavarium

2006 - Saosin/Saosin

Now, 2006 was a shit hot year for music too so this was equally tough.
Saosin are the only sort've post-hardcore band (i.e Billy Talent, Alexisonfire) that I give a flying fuck about, because instead of writing concept albums about the four fucking elements like those posh-boys in Thrice did, they keep it simple. They churn out the riffs, go sick on the drums, and keep the mood high, and just simply rock the fuck out. There's a danger when your singer goes above a D5 that you might sound like you're in fucking Dragonforce, but this guys probably got the best voice out of the lot too. The albums over before you know it too, 12 songs in 41 minutes. Even Weezer would be proud of that shit!

Runner up - Mastodon/Blood Mountain
Rubbish - Muse/Black Holes and Revelations

2007 - Between the Buried and Me/Colors

2007 was the ultimate in polarisation for me, there was some unbelievable peaks and alot of absolute fucking trifle, and Colors for me is the ultimate example of a band simply putting every other release that year to shame.
I like my music in 2 forms, unapologetic simple pop (no fucking gay gimics or pretentiousness like Florence and the Machine with their 12 members), or, music that is completely off it's tits, i mean, stuff that you just can not get your head around complex. BTBAM fit the second bill, this album is one, continuous 64 minute song that skates through genres like nobodies business, can't explain it, just try listening to them without having chest pains is all I can say. Their new record released this year is amazing too, but no metal album since has or ever will top this one I think, pure fucking bliss.

Runner up - The Dillinger Escape Plan/Ire Works
Shite - plenty to choose from, but i'll go with Chris Cornell/Carry On.

2008 - Panic At The Disco/PrettyOdd.

The first Panic album is probably the 2nd greatest party record evahhh (the first belonging to Steel Panther's Feel The Steel, lul whut?). So when this was released everyone got their knickers in a twist cause it didn't have any of that, instead Panic came out sounding like The Beatles circa '67. Now, simply, I could give my left nut to sound half as good as that, and these guys manage to make the most gloriously over-the-top pop record since Prince's Love Symbol album 16 years earlier, not a dull moment on here, perfect summer record.

Runner up - Weezer/The Red Album
Utter crap - Laura Marling/Alas I Cannot Swim

2009 - Taking Back Sunday/New Again.

TBS is a band that have gotten simply better with every release, I think their first album is shite, Where You Want To Be was great, Louder Now was even better, and now this. Can't really say much man, they've just hit an unstoppable peak, and the last song, Everything Must Go, is snuggles up to God Only Knows as one of my all-time favourite songs. Forget the emo tags and just listen to it, these guys are fucking class.

Runner up - Saosin/In Search of Solid Ground
Unbelievable fucking garbage - John Mayer/Battle Studies.

That is all yo, I know this is long, but was for personal gratification, and thus, I practically have a semi-on.

I'm in the bath.

I shit you not man, my new thing is doing work in the bathtub, with water in, of course. I pull up a little table from the dining room, place my laptop on it, hook it up, crank some tunes, hit the lights, and do whatever.
So this week, from the confines of my bathtub, listening to Jimmy Eat World's "Clarity" (one of my all time favourite records), completely and utterly nude. I shall rant. No bubblebath this week though, is that gay or not? I could never really guess if being surrounded by Radox made you a bit of a batty boy?

I'm sorry if the thought of my being completely stark bollock has no doubt caused the fucking strawberry frappucino you probably had at lunch to come back up, but whatever, i've never exactly been normal have I?

Anyway, onwards and upwards, we shall go.

NUMBER FUCKING 1.

I can NOT stress enough how much I hate it when people use the 1st person on their Facebook status. I mean come on, it's probably been at LEAST 12 months since you've had Facebook and you're STILL making this fucking mistake? You know instead of wondering why you're in the fucking dole queue you could perhaps wonder why you didn't pay attention in English? It wasn't all Shakespeare you know? you actually DID learn some decent life lessons in that class. But hey, what am I saying, I only got a B.

Since i'm so rippin', i'll give y'all a couple examples of why people are just so, so wrong. Kkz lol? These will just randomly be plucked off of Facebook, none of that fabricated shit, I can prove with examples how fucking dumb some people are. (Helen, I assume you'll get passed this problem now, so don't get offended k babez?)

...I'll use a fake name incase I get decked by their no doubt pink v-neck wearing flip-flop lovingeventhoughit'swinter scumbag boyfriend.

Laura Jones can't believe i've locked John's keys in my car!

Now, it is beyond me how people DO NOT see how this looks like somebody has logged onto "laura's" profile, and started talking about laura's opinion of an act you've just done.
Facebook asks what YOU are up to, not what some random person who's account you've logged onto thinks of you. K? Fuck's sake. I could be employed by the grammar Police.

Now of course, the correct answer would be.

Laura Jones can't believe SHE'S locked John's keys in HER car.

Sorry, I just had to get that out, again. I think i've already posted about this, but whatever. I write about whatever I pissing well want and somehow you people read it, huzzah!

John Mayer's new record is shit, I mean utter shit.

Now, i've gotten into watching Betty Crocker videos on how to make cakes. It all started when I saw that Betty Crocker ad on T.V where this annoying little fucking toddler waxes lyrical about how much he loves cake. Have you seen it?

"I JUST LOVE MAKING CAKE ARGHHHHH!!! mmm cake!...seriously! cake yeah woo!" isn't far off what it's actually like. Little bastard.

Anyway, ever since I saw that ad I've been taking the piss out of Lee for it cause we always skit him for being a bit of a cake lover, even though he isn't in the slightest, but it's just what we do. So, I youtubed the shit out of it but came across these cake making videos instead.

I've been fascinated ever since man, I shit you not, they're so bad, but I can't look away. They star these basic 50's throwback housewives that show you how to make stuff like rubber ducky cakes, and train cakes for your kid's birthday. I'll throw you a link...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANMo1SzA8nA

Now, i've never really been one for cake. But that domestic badass Liv Hansen makes me wish she was my mum when I was a kid. Imagine coming home to a fucking space ship cake dude? That would be beyond killer.

The one thing about all of these videos is that in EVERY one it's basically the same thing. She starts off with a basic cake shape or whatever, throws some icing on there, then decorates it with sweets, but everytime the co-host Laurie Gelman (who's got that kinda, i'd let you make me a cake hot mum thing going on) pretends to act SO intriuged. And everytime Liv says that she's making a crumb coat (which seals in any loose crumbs before your final coat, oh yes) and then Laurie puts on her little inquisitive face and is all "lul whuts a crumb coat lid?" and Liv answers in a similarly faux-manner. Wonderful acting.

So to sum up, I have spent many a day watching these video's instead of doing any of my assignments, which is pretty bad, I don't know why I watch them man. They're just so....mourish!

I think that'll do for now. I need to actually use the bath to you know...wash and stuff. In the meantime, here's the most fucked up song you'll probably ever hear.

Mr Bungle - Desert Search For Techno Allah.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qhz7a5w7V0Y

This will silence all you people that say "I listen to everything really!".
No, you don't. You haven't got any Arabian Techno on your iPod have you?

Anyways, peace out.