Things I Don't Like Today.

Pretty self explanatory, i'll try 10.

1. Dave Berry.
2. Summer Clothes from Burton.
3. John Mayer's fat mouth.
4. Couples that buy Frappucino's
5. Single mothers on Jeremy Kyle.
6. People that become fans of shit like "sleeping" and "bubblewrap" on Facebook.
7. You, probably.
8. Rice Crispie adverts.
9. Fat people that smoke.
10. People that mix 1st and 3rd persons in their status.
11. 808's & Heartbreak.

B&B with a little weed.

If anyone can guess what the title of this post is, I will buy you more than a pint.

This post will feature many short sentences like this. I think. Drunken tangents might occur.

I watched the Wigan Vs Man United match tonight over several pints of Guinness and some Nobby's Nuts. Wigan played well, certainly better than when Everton played them and scored 4-0. Jo, Jo, Jo!

I hate older guys (like 30+) that wear those god awful SHORT SLEEVED checkered shirts (clearly from Next) that try and be cool and get in with slaggy girls in clubs like Arriba in Ormskirk. Seriously, shouldn't you be married?
...Maybe you should stop supporting Man United.
...THERE'S ONLY ONE JAGIELKA!!!
Crippled bastard! How are we meant to win Chelski now?!

I was told tonight buy a drunken chav that I have an "awesome haircut"
...Which was then changed to a "grass haircut".

Luckily, these two lads that I knew in primary & high school, assured this guy that I "was sound".

That's a benefit of getting to know chavvy type guys, they save your ass when you're in danger, probably.

Mamaris wasn't open, I wanted a burger, they should take a leaf out of Shiraz's book and stay open all night.

I just told a girl that she sounds awesome in bed. Shit. Haha!

Go and listen to Deftones, especially White Pony.

As much as i HATE (capitals on purpose) Kings Of Leon. Mcfearless is great.

Nope, definately short sentences.

Don't you hate it when you see someone that kinda looks like your ex? I saw 2 tonight, it was devastating.

Byeee.
x.

Guess The Song

"Lets all get up and dance to a song
that was a hit before your mother was born
Though she was born a long long time ago
........"

Guess the next line and i'll buy you a pint.

In other news, I like Disaronno.

I played at the Carling Academy tonight, it was okay.

100% Dundee

I really like revising.

Yesterday in Southport the amount of wasteofflesh scumbags I saw drinking frappucino's made me want to punch my niece. Considering the weather was about at subtle as a brick to face aswell added to my anger. It was pissing down with rain and people were drinking ice cold drinks, the fuck.

Anyways, watch this video. And listen to The Roots.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=haPnYi0XWcs

Idea for a TV show.

From the creators of the smash hit Strictly Come Dancing!

...It's Strictly Come Faces!

McNuggets

Are simply the best drunken foodstuffs ever. The look on the Drive Thru (gangsta spelling) peoples face is world class when you order 60 of them after 4 pints of the black stuff. I'm sure playing The Earth Song at full blast through your car's speakers doesn't help either. Welcome ladies and gentlemen, to my Thursday night.

The cat threw up before, and it looked like a large helping of corned beef hash. Domesticity being my forté however, means that I cleaned it up without hassle.

That, out of a cats mouth. Seriously.

I've just come back off "the road". Yes, i've been on a mini tour. Unfortunately I didn't get high on gak and shag 7 women, but I did don my Everton shirt and get in the shower with a sleeping bass player. I also signed a flyer for some girl, Rock and Roll. I'm waiting for the NME to come to my door and interview me, to which I will defiantly say:

"Fuck off, you no good indie loving toff pricks".

There is about 20 minutes of footage floating about of me and the band talking about masturbation in a 1 star hotel room in the dankest part of East London, if Myspace will allow us to post it, I glady will.

This video personifies how awesome the 80's were. Shame my only camp memory was seeing a boys cock and losing my sweets. Bad times at Charles Southern High.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ra7iJna4MxU&feature=related

I had a dream last night that I went swimming with Thierry Henry whilst eating mussles, we spoke at length about Pixar films and it turned out that he didn't like Finding Nemo, at all.

The one thing that is really pissing me off lately revolves around coffee shops like Costa and Starbucks. I've got that right haven't i? They ARE coffee shops right? Bit of word association, when somebody says Starbucks you do think of COFFEE right?

I can't fucking STAND these toff cunts (usually the shoegaze loving, i dress like my grandma indie kids) that go into a place like Starbucks and order something called a "frappucino", a cold drink that has the coffee content of a pack of Golden fuckin' Wonder. I can't quite put my finger on why I hate this so much, maybe it's cause i'm such a simple Conservative that is about as welcome as a dose of swine flu. But there's just something about it that grinds my gears so much. They're like an iced drink that has all sorts of yumyum ingrediants like chocolate and strawberries and if you walk around town you will see many couples/nobheads drinking them. Why not just get a coffee in Starbucks? and then go to Mandy Moo's for an epic milkshake later? Ahh well, it's better than people that order a fucking Hot Chocolate in a coffee shop. Collossal bellends.

And I wonder why I have approximately 3 friends. I hope i'm making you laugh or offending you deeply.

Anyways, music time, I hope you're all basking in the glory of Spotify.

Since it's summer time and shit, here's a list of non obvious summer songs that you should put into a playlist, put on yer shades, and strut to.

1. John Mayer - Clarity

2. Jamiroquai - Too Young To Die

3. Incubus - Aqueous Transmission (be careful not to piss your pants in relaxation)

4. The Black Crowes - Blackberry

5. Michael Jackson - Burn This Disco Out

6. The Roots - Dynamite!

7. Prince - Love 2 The 9's

8. Bobby Womack - Across 110th Street

9. Dave Matthews Band - #41

10. Bill Withers - Who Is He? (And What Is He To You?)

Get on it kids, fancy a pint?

Nah, thought not.

Charlie S,

x.