I'm in the bath.

I shit you not man, my new thing is doing work in the bathtub, with water in, of course. I pull up a little table from the dining room, place my laptop on it, hook it up, crank some tunes, hit the lights, and do whatever.
So this week, from the confines of my bathtub, listening to Jimmy Eat World's "Clarity" (one of my all time favourite records), completely and utterly nude. I shall rant. No bubblebath this week though, is that gay or not? I could never really guess if being surrounded by Radox made you a bit of a batty boy?

I'm sorry if the thought of my being completely stark bollock has no doubt caused the fucking strawberry frappucino you probably had at lunch to come back up, but whatever, i've never exactly been normal have I?

Anyway, onwards and upwards, we shall go.

NUMBER FUCKING 1.

I can NOT stress enough how much I hate it when people use the 1st person on their Facebook status. I mean come on, it's probably been at LEAST 12 months since you've had Facebook and you're STILL making this fucking mistake? You know instead of wondering why you're in the fucking dole queue you could perhaps wonder why you didn't pay attention in English? It wasn't all Shakespeare you know? you actually DID learn some decent life lessons in that class. But hey, what am I saying, I only got a B.

Since i'm so rippin', i'll give y'all a couple examples of why people are just so, so wrong. Kkz lol? These will just randomly be plucked off of Facebook, none of that fabricated shit, I can prove with examples how fucking dumb some people are. (Helen, I assume you'll get passed this problem now, so don't get offended k babez?)

...I'll use a fake name incase I get decked by their no doubt pink v-neck wearing flip-flop lovingeventhoughit'swinter scumbag boyfriend.

Laura Jones can't believe i've locked John's keys in my car!

Now, it is beyond me how people DO NOT see how this looks like somebody has logged onto "laura's" profile, and started talking about laura's opinion of an act you've just done.
Facebook asks what YOU are up to, not what some random person who's account you've logged onto thinks of you. K? Fuck's sake. I could be employed by the grammar Police.

Now of course, the correct answer would be.

Laura Jones can't believe SHE'S locked John's keys in HER car.

Sorry, I just had to get that out, again. I think i've already posted about this, but whatever. I write about whatever I pissing well want and somehow you people read it, huzzah!

John Mayer's new record is shit, I mean utter shit.

Now, i've gotten into watching Betty Crocker videos on how to make cakes. It all started when I saw that Betty Crocker ad on T.V where this annoying little fucking toddler waxes lyrical about how much he loves cake. Have you seen it?

"I JUST LOVE MAKING CAKE ARGHHHHH!!! mmm cake!...seriously! cake yeah woo!" isn't far off what it's actually like. Little bastard.

Anyway, ever since I saw that ad I've been taking the piss out of Lee for it cause we always skit him for being a bit of a cake lover, even though he isn't in the slightest, but it's just what we do. So, I youtubed the shit out of it but came across these cake making videos instead.

I've been fascinated ever since man, I shit you not, they're so bad, but I can't look away. They star these basic 50's throwback housewives that show you how to make stuff like rubber ducky cakes, and train cakes for your kid's birthday. I'll throw you a link...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANMo1SzA8nA

Now, i've never really been one for cake. But that domestic badass Liv Hansen makes me wish she was my mum when I was a kid. Imagine coming home to a fucking space ship cake dude? That would be beyond killer.

The one thing about all of these videos is that in EVERY one it's basically the same thing. She starts off with a basic cake shape or whatever, throws some icing on there, then decorates it with sweets, but everytime the co-host Laurie Gelman (who's got that kinda, i'd let you make me a cake hot mum thing going on) pretends to act SO intriuged. And everytime Liv says that she's making a crumb coat (which seals in any loose crumbs before your final coat, oh yes) and then Laurie puts on her little inquisitive face and is all "lul whuts a crumb coat lid?" and Liv answers in a similarly faux-manner. Wonderful acting.

So to sum up, I have spent many a day watching these video's instead of doing any of my assignments, which is pretty bad, I don't know why I watch them man. They're just so....mourish!

I think that'll do for now. I need to actually use the bath to you know...wash and stuff. In the meantime, here's the most fucked up song you'll probably ever hear.

Mr Bungle - Desert Search For Techno Allah.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qhz7a5w7V0Y

This will silence all you people that say "I listen to everything really!".
No, you don't. You haven't got any Arabian Techno on your iPod have you?

Anyways, peace out.