McNuggets

Are simply the best drunken foodstuffs ever. The look on the Drive Thru (gangsta spelling) peoples face is world class when you order 60 of them after 4 pints of the black stuff. I'm sure playing The Earth Song at full blast through your car's speakers doesn't help either. Welcome ladies and gentlemen, to my Thursday night.

The cat threw up before, and it looked like a large helping of corned beef hash. Domesticity being my forté however, means that I cleaned it up without hassle.

That, out of a cats mouth. Seriously.

I've just come back off "the road". Yes, i've been on a mini tour. Unfortunately I didn't get high on gak and shag 7 women, but I did don my Everton shirt and get in the shower with a sleeping bass player. I also signed a flyer for some girl, Rock and Roll. I'm waiting for the NME to come to my door and interview me, to which I will defiantly say:

"Fuck off, you no good indie loving toff pricks".

There is about 20 minutes of footage floating about of me and the band talking about masturbation in a 1 star hotel room in the dankest part of East London, if Myspace will allow us to post it, I glady will.

This video personifies how awesome the 80's were. Shame my only camp memory was seeing a boys cock and losing my sweets. Bad times at Charles Southern High.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ra7iJna4MxU&feature=related

I had a dream last night that I went swimming with Thierry Henry whilst eating mussles, we spoke at length about Pixar films and it turned out that he didn't like Finding Nemo, at all.

The one thing that is really pissing me off lately revolves around coffee shops like Costa and Starbucks. I've got that right haven't i? They ARE coffee shops right? Bit of word association, when somebody says Starbucks you do think of COFFEE right?

I can't fucking STAND these toff cunts (usually the shoegaze loving, i dress like my grandma indie kids) that go into a place like Starbucks and order something called a "frappucino", a cold drink that has the coffee content of a pack of Golden fuckin' Wonder. I can't quite put my finger on why I hate this so much, maybe it's cause i'm such a simple Conservative that is about as welcome as a dose of swine flu. But there's just something about it that grinds my gears so much. They're like an iced drink that has all sorts of yumyum ingrediants like chocolate and strawberries and if you walk around town you will see many couples/nobheads drinking them. Why not just get a coffee in Starbucks? and then go to Mandy Moo's for an epic milkshake later? Ahh well, it's better than people that order a fucking Hot Chocolate in a coffee shop. Collossal bellends.

And I wonder why I have approximately 3 friends. I hope i'm making you laugh or offending you deeply.

Anyways, music time, I hope you're all basking in the glory of Spotify.

Since it's summer time and shit, here's a list of non obvious summer songs that you should put into a playlist, put on yer shades, and strut to.

1. John Mayer - Clarity

2. Jamiroquai - Too Young To Die

3. Incubus - Aqueous Transmission (be careful not to piss your pants in relaxation)

4. The Black Crowes - Blackberry

5. Michael Jackson - Burn This Disco Out

6. The Roots - Dynamite!

7. Prince - Love 2 The 9's

8. Bobby Womack - Across 110th Street

9. Dave Matthews Band - #41

10. Bill Withers - Who Is He? (And What Is He To You?)

Get on it kids, fancy a pint?

Nah, thought not.

Charlie S,

x.